YOU KNOW , YOU ARE, OR WERE…………
A PLANE CAPTAIN IF …
You’ve ever said, “Oh yes sir, it’s supposed to look like that.”
You’ve ever sucked LOX to cure a hangover.
You know what JP-4 or JP-5 tastes like.
You’ve ever used a piece of safety wire as a toothpick.
You ever used soot from the tailpipe to blacken your boots.
You can’t figure out why maintenance officers exist.
You consider “Moly-B” smudges on food an “acquired taste.”
You have ever jumped inside an intake to get out of the rain.
You looked for pictures of “your” jet in aviation books and magazines.
You can’t figure out why two weeks of advance per diem is gone after three days.
You ever used a wheel chock or tow bar for a pillow.
You ever stood on wheel chocks to keep your feet dry.
You ever used a pair of dikes to trim a fingernail.
You ever pulled the trigger while riding brakes.
You ever wiped leaks right before a crew showed.
You ever had to defuel your jet an hour after fueling it.
You refer to QA as “the enemy.”
You know the international sign language for “pull your head out of your a–.”
You’ve wanted the jet to start just so you can warm up.
You have ever bled hydraulic fluid into a Gatorade bottle or soda can because it was too hard to get a hydraulic bucket.
You used the “Pull Chocks” hand signal to tell your buddies it is time to leave.
You ever pre-flighted in bad weather only to learn that the flight was canceled hours ago.
You’ve ever been told to go get some prop wash, a yard of flight line or the keys to the jet.
You fix $30 million jets, but can’t figure out what’s wrong with your $150 lawnmower.
Your toolbox at home has wheels and foam cutouts, just like the ones at work.
Some of the tools in your toolbox at home have numbers etched on them.